Jessica Biel Colors Her Hair

...and I'm glad she did.  I was so sick of looking at her roots that were longer than Justin Timberlake's penis.  I think she had kept the grown-out look for his chump ass.  Why?  Well, let's take a look at his exes....

  Now, take a look at her new hair!  Makes me think they broke up...



But it's so much more glamorous!  It brings out her eyes, it compliments her skin.  I am so jealous!  I tried to color my hair this color and I looked like gothic shit.  My clients all hated it. I looked like Marilyn Manson, only frizzier. So here I am, all blondified again and drooling over Jessica Biel.  Look out, Megan Fox.  There's a new espresso-tressed siren in town. Schwing!