Friday, December 10, 2010

Growing Pains (A How-To For Growing Your Tresses)



  Ahhhh, Leo....

     Let's face it, my friends.  Growing your hair out is a giant pain in the ass.  For my bob/pixie loving ladies- all of a sudden you hit mid-lengths and your hair is boring and blah... not really long enough to be long to swing around like a stipper, but too long to do a cute, sassy style.  For my guys, you wind up with a mullet-looking tail in the back and you look  like the sketchy guy that goes 6 months between cuts and stinks like cat piss and stale cigarettes.
  Here is a gender-organized guide to growing out your 'do:

LADIES,
  Understand that your little regime for your short hair WILL NOT work for your mid-length.  Now your hair has some weight on it.  If you flat-iron usually when your hair is short, now you are going to have to learn to do a proper blow-out.  Just beating your hair with the brush and dryer is no longer going to cut it to look "put-together".  Fine haired-ladies- shellacking your hair with spray and root lifter will no longer give you that oomph you used to easily acquire.  If you are growing your hair out, no matter what texture/thickness, here is a go-to list of things to get you through these awkward times:



1) A HIGH quality dryer.  Your wal-mart special isn't going to dry your hair as nicely and efficiently.  With all your extra hair, you need extra power and the new dryers on the market fight frizz and seal the cuticle down.  A HIGH quality dryer cannot be purchased at walmart or target, FYI.



2) Mousse or gel.  Why waste the time with the blow dryer and brush if there is no product in your hair to hold the style?



3) Velcro rollers.  I probably sound like a broken record with the velcro rollers.  Because they are a fucking miracle invention!  They smooth out curly hair, they volumize fine hair. How could you go wrong?  Plus, they don't damage hair like hot rollers and irons do.

Apply product to wet hair.  Section hair with clips.  Never blow dry a section that is bigger than your brush.  Dry each section 100 percent, then wrap it in a roller.  Voila!  The dry hair is out of your way so you can move on to the next section.  It may seem tedious and annoying at first, but keep it up and you'll get the hang of it.  Leave the rollers in while you do your makeup, get dressed, etc.  Take them out, touch up any sections with a flat iron/curling iron, and out the door you go. When my blow out is done properly, it lasts 5 days or longer.  FIVE days.  Think of all the time I save!

MEN,
  Understand that growing your hair out to be "low-maintenance" just makes you a grub.  You need to take care of your hair.  Obviously, with short hair, there is less maintenance, you just gotta get to the barbershop every 2-4 weeks.  With longer hair, you will use more shampoo, conditioner, and product.  You will ACTUALLY NEED TO COMB/BRUSH your hair.  You will also need to have it trimmed.  Especially in the back, where it grows the fastest.  If you find yourself discouraged with some random thick patches or waves that just don't blend with the style, ask the barber to thin out that section with texture shears.



If you fine it tangling quite a bit, pick up a clarifying shampoo.  Always use conditioner.  Keep it neat.  If your hair is curly, make sure you use product- a gel or mousse or even a styling lotion.  The ladies will appreciate it.  Good luck, my friends!  I've been growing mine since the Bush Administration, and it still is only shoulder length.  Most likely because I am a color whore.  I am sure you will ALL do better than me!

No comments:

Post a Comment