...Call me bigoted, call me racist, call me whatever you want, because I am gonna judge you by your skin color. If I see some chick with a spray tan the color of napalm, I put her into a stereotype. ORANGE. Orange people are usually whores of the worst kind. Snooki, Donatella Versace, Christina Aguilera... all repeat offenders of aforementioned stereotype. They look like radioactive glow-trolls, polluting red carpets everywhere.
It's happened to many of us before, we've gotten sprayed or o.d.'d on some of that Jergens gradual tan crap and chicka chicka BOOM BOOM! We look like fucking traffic cones. My professional, licensed advice? DO SOMETHING about it! Don't just strut around with our fluorescent legs that glow like 2 orange glow sticks at a rave. Don't walk around town with tangerine cleave like you're the hottest thing since Britney was barely on the rag and got a boob job. Hop in the nearest shower and exfoliate that shit off. Washcloths work wonders. Everyone owns a damn washcloth. Everyone. Add a little cleanser with hydroxy acid or citric acid= problem solved.
Here's some tips to prevent that fake bake look.
Moisturize before self or spray tanning. Use a heavier/thicker lotion on wrists, knuckles, elbows, knees, and ankles.
If you don't have a base tan or are a tanning amateur, start with a lighter formula. Especially in the winter months. You want your tan to be believable.
Get some bronzer powder that is a reddish base or brown base. Dust powder on your decollete and shoulders to add dimension. What a lot of people don't understand (even celeb makeup artists) is that spray tans generally look flat. Even if the esthetician contours you at first, that contour fades. Natural tans are usually darker in certain places and less even. Imagine where the sun hits you most, and add bronzer there. This will keep your steaze from screaming "I am a skanky tangerine."
Orange you glad we had this talk?
I effing adore you, and your little blog too!!!! :)
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